Greetings ladies,
I hope this post finds each of you well and in spectacular spirits. I humbly write to you via this post with a topic that is not necessarily 100% on track with my mission to heal the hearts of the creations that bear the seeds of men, but in a sense it is. There have been times that I have been listening to my sisters and close lady friends as they divulge encounters they have had with the opposite sex. There is one encounter (as a matter of fact it is my #1 cardinal rule) in particular that is quite a bit interesting and disturbing that many adult men seem to neglect; so interesting that a grown man somewhere in America passes away everyday and still didn't know this is something you should never do. Please don't get me wrong, as I look back on my life I've broken this rule as well, but I was but a mere lad then, and didn't know any better (like most young boys don't). I then saw/heard how unsuccessful a vast majority of the attempts were and it became my #1 cardinal rule in how to handle a woman with finesse.
What is this cardinal rule of mine that I speak of? A MAN SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THE PANTIES. NEVER. A woman is supposed to invite a man to the bedroom. For most women (especially a woman with any sense of self and her worth), that is the ultimate turn-off to a woman. I don't completely understand women (and I never will), but I do know this...a woman has an idea of whether or not she will invite a man to the bedroom if the opportunity presented itself, within moments of first laying eyes on him, and she knows for a fact if she would, when she gets the chance to actually speak with him and something worth listening to parts his lips. But as you know, often times he hangs himself and talks himself right out of even pulling into the driveway of your home with the senseless words that pass through his lips. I've heard this request being made during the initial meeting of a woman, and I've heard it made in only a matter of time (i.e. days) after the initial meeting. Don't get me wrong, some attempts with asking this question have been successful when asked to a woman that has no sense of self and her worth, but to me that is the most idiotic assumption to think that just because success was achieved with one woman (who just so happens to be in need of a daddy because perhaps she lacked one all of her life...oh, that's another reason dads you need to be active in your daughters life, it significantly decreases the chances of her becoming the guy I speak of's prey) it will be achieved with all women. All I'm asking is...where is the respect? One thing I was taught, was being selfless and respectful will lengthen your journey through life. One of my sisters told me a guy she had known for about two weeks asked her if she would have sex with him for his birthday (and not in those exact words), but they had never even been on a date prior to this question being presented; as a matter of fact, the first and last time they saw one another was during the initial meeting. Of course, he was unsuccessful and she cussed his ass out, but when she told me about it, I grew so pissed that I literally wanted to put my fist through this character's skull. Its about respect at the end of the day. I am willing to bet, if this same guy was out with his mom and she just so happened to be one of those "hot/vibrant" creations of a woman, and some character mustered up the audacity to ask his mom that question...he will erupt like a Hawaiian volcano. With this said, I am baffled as to how one seemingly forgets the fact that he definitely has a mother, maybe a sister, maybe even a daughter.
What I am about to say, I say with complete honesty and in a humble tone. I will forgo and have forgone the temptation, and the physical sensation of intimacy brought by attraction to women I have been in the presence of because I understand this cardinal rule and the fact that respect gets you further than disrespect anytime POINT, BLANK, PERIOD. Ladies you are someone's mother, daughter, sister, auntie, etc. and respect is what you deserve.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
The One that Likes You; The One that Loves You
I want to preface this by saying it takes a lot of heart to write some of the things I write because we live in such a judgmental society, but when you're sure of yourself the judgmental characters of many don't matter (mind over matter...I don't mind because they don't matter). I write because my mission is to strengthen and heal the hearts of the creations that bear the seeds of men, and encourage them not to lose hope. I often write as a result of things I witness and the experiences I listen to, both of which become genuine words from the mind and heart of an intricate brother.
Day in and day out, there is a woman somewhere that has become fed up, bitter, angry, malicious, etc. because she has given her all to a certain guy (like most women do because it is innate in their creation) that does not treasure her and her giving. Many of you have probably asked yourself, "why is it that I attract deficient quality men?" or "why can't I get a break in the relationship area of my life", wait, my favorite one is..."where are all of the good men?" (please don't get me wrong, the message you are about to read can be found as sound advice for the male species as well, because successful, ambitious men have to steer clear, and take heed to this also). Comedian Kat Williams asked the question in his stand up act "Pimp Chronicles", "have you ever thought what is it about you that attracts deficient quality brothers?" (and not in those exact words lol). Don't get me wrong, I thought his choice of words were perfect for what he was aiming to achieve for the show, but this is my attempt to expound upon those words in a non-comical, and philosophical manner.
The philosophy is rather simple. You ready? Here we go; there's two parts to this. Part #1: Enter into a relationship with the person that likes you and not the person you like. Part #2: Marry the person that loves you and not the person you love. When first reading this, you may immediately disagree, but I want you to think about what is being said. Part #1 doesn't insinuate that you enter into a relationship with a person you don't like. It merely says, get into a relationship with not only the person you like, but the person that reciprocates the same likeness for you. The same goes for part #2. The only way you will know these things is through the delay of time and the surveillance of actions.
Some women tend to often times get so wrapped up in the physical (and the physical is very important now, because you want to be able to stand the sight of the guy lol) that they neglect their emotional needs. If the only thing that comes to mind is how attractive he is and you start digging for other reasons just to dress up the relationship, or justify that its more than the physical when the thought of why you're with him arises...don't do that to yourself. The worst thing you can ever do to yourself is fool yourself; the one person you should definitely be able to trust is yourself. Furthermore, some women become starry eyed and say "Yes" at the sight of an engagement ring and thought of the subsequent activities that follow, and know the love & bond that are key ingredients for a successful marriage were never there for the last 2 years or however long it has been. It takes two to bond...have you ever tried to glue something to nothing? What happened? It fell out of your hand didn't it? Can you see the irony in that?
I say all of this with confidence, because it honestly makes sense to me; enter into a relationship with the person that likes you and not just the person you like; marry the person that loves you and not just the person you love. For instance, my best friend, married his high school sweetheart of 9 or 10 years. I was able to witness the bond they have and I know they married one another because they love each other. I was able to bear witness to the bond one of my female friends has for her husband she recently married, and I know for a fact they married one another because they love each other because Mrs. Lady right there does not play when it comes to her heart and her life lol.
All I'm saying is, keep this philosophy in mind as a guide to help you make better choices. A man dislikes encountering a woman with a chip on her shoulder. You may not be bitter, but hey its not hard to become that way if you don't take heed to the reasoning behind the relational decisions you make.
From my heart to yours,
I_Treasure_U
Day in and day out, there is a woman somewhere that has become fed up, bitter, angry, malicious, etc. because she has given her all to a certain guy (like most women do because it is innate in their creation) that does not treasure her and her giving. Many of you have probably asked yourself, "why is it that I attract deficient quality men?" or "why can't I get a break in the relationship area of my life", wait, my favorite one is..."where are all of the good men?" (please don't get me wrong, the message you are about to read can be found as sound advice for the male species as well, because successful, ambitious men have to steer clear, and take heed to this also). Comedian Kat Williams asked the question in his stand up act "Pimp Chronicles", "have you ever thought what is it about you that attracts deficient quality brothers?" (and not in those exact words lol). Don't get me wrong, I thought his choice of words were perfect for what he was aiming to achieve for the show, but this is my attempt to expound upon those words in a non-comical, and philosophical manner.
The philosophy is rather simple. You ready? Here we go; there's two parts to this. Part #1: Enter into a relationship with the person that likes you and not the person you like. Part #2: Marry the person that loves you and not the person you love. When first reading this, you may immediately disagree, but I want you to think about what is being said. Part #1 doesn't insinuate that you enter into a relationship with a person you don't like. It merely says, get into a relationship with not only the person you like, but the person that reciprocates the same likeness for you. The same goes for part #2. The only way you will know these things is through the delay of time and the surveillance of actions.
Some women tend to often times get so wrapped up in the physical (and the physical is very important now, because you want to be able to stand the sight of the guy lol) that they neglect their emotional needs. If the only thing that comes to mind is how attractive he is and you start digging for other reasons just to dress up the relationship, or justify that its more than the physical when the thought of why you're with him arises...don't do that to yourself. The worst thing you can ever do to yourself is fool yourself; the one person you should definitely be able to trust is yourself. Furthermore, some women become starry eyed and say "Yes" at the sight of an engagement ring and thought of the subsequent activities that follow, and know the love & bond that are key ingredients for a successful marriage were never there for the last 2 years or however long it has been. It takes two to bond...have you ever tried to glue something to nothing? What happened? It fell out of your hand didn't it? Can you see the irony in that?
I say all of this with confidence, because it honestly makes sense to me; enter into a relationship with the person that likes you and not just the person you like; marry the person that loves you and not just the person you love. For instance, my best friend, married his high school sweetheart of 9 or 10 years. I was able to witness the bond they have and I know they married one another because they love each other. I was able to bear witness to the bond one of my female friends has for her husband she recently married, and I know for a fact they married one another because they love each other because Mrs. Lady right there does not play when it comes to her heart and her life lol.
All I'm saying is, keep this philosophy in mind as a guide to help you make better choices. A man dislikes encountering a woman with a chip on her shoulder. You may not be bitter, but hey its not hard to become that way if you don't take heed to the reasoning behind the relational decisions you make.
From my heart to yours,
I_Treasure_U
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The Art of Courting a Woman
To preface this post, I'd like to say I speak and write from a black male angel because of course I am black, and all of my relationships have been with black women. By no means am I saying my thoughts and personal philosophies don't or won't apply to relationships of other ethnic backgrounds.
Ok, now that we've got that out the way...
As I look out into the world around me on a daily basis I witness a lot of things, I also hear a lot of things. It appears to me, at some point in time (and for the most part), the black male has neglected the idea, notion, and benefits that come from courting a woman. Somewhere, somehow, that finesse in handling the delicate, emotional genetic make-up of the female species has been lost. I have a lot of sisters and I often hear a lot of cardinal rules that men break with women. For instance, what's up with these characters asking a woman they just met yesterday if she will come to his house as a first date or vice verse?? Where is the finesse in that? What ever happened to the art of dealing with a woman that most of our grandfathers and great grandfathers had which strengthened the bond between himself and our grandmothers and great grandmothers? You know...the art that allowed them to literally stay together until death did or does them part?
Ladies, courting is all about you. When was the last time a man attempted to bond with you during a picnic in the park? And I don't mean going to get some chicken and a side of mashed potatoes from KFC. I mean literally putting some thought into it; from selecting the park, to the food selection in the basket the two of you share, and a sexy bottle of wine that tantalizes your taste buds for more with every sip you swallow.
The art of courting a woman doesn't stop in the early stages (you know...the getting to know you part). A man courting you should extend into the stages when the bond you've established with one another carries your beings to that "pillowy" warmth, and comfort you experience on the infamous 'Cloud 9'. Back in my growth and development stages of becoming the man I present to you today, I remember calling my then college love at the spur of moment, and telling her to pack some clothes for the weekend because we're going to Florida to enjoy one another and walk on the beach. While there, the emotion I felt was great, but the emotion she felt I could tell was 10 times greater. Mission accomplished, my baby knew she was special to me.
I am looking forward to the day when all men will genuinely (notice I said genuinely) want to connect with a woman emotionally, and rid themselves of the thought that being emotionally attached to a woman makes him weak. Short, tall, skinny, or fat...a man will protect what he loves, and I've learned that women love being handled with finesse.
A WOMAN SHOULD BE COURTED. Remember that.
Later on,
I_Treasure_U
Ok, now that we've got that out the way...
As I look out into the world around me on a daily basis I witness a lot of things, I also hear a lot of things. It appears to me, at some point in time (and for the most part), the black male has neglected the idea, notion, and benefits that come from courting a woman. Somewhere, somehow, that finesse in handling the delicate, emotional genetic make-up of the female species has been lost. I have a lot of sisters and I often hear a lot of cardinal rules that men break with women. For instance, what's up with these characters asking a woman they just met yesterday if she will come to his house as a first date or vice verse?? Where is the finesse in that? What ever happened to the art of dealing with a woman that most of our grandfathers and great grandfathers had which strengthened the bond between himself and our grandmothers and great grandmothers? You know...the art that allowed them to literally stay together until death did or does them part?
Ladies, courting is all about you. When was the last time a man attempted to bond with you during a picnic in the park? And I don't mean going to get some chicken and a side of mashed potatoes from KFC. I mean literally putting some thought into it; from selecting the park, to the food selection in the basket the two of you share, and a sexy bottle of wine that tantalizes your taste buds for more with every sip you swallow.
The art of courting a woman doesn't stop in the early stages (you know...the getting to know you part). A man courting you should extend into the stages when the bond you've established with one another carries your beings to that "pillowy" warmth, and comfort you experience on the infamous 'Cloud 9'. Back in my growth and development stages of becoming the man I present to you today, I remember calling my then college love at the spur of moment, and telling her to pack some clothes for the weekend because we're going to Florida to enjoy one another and walk on the beach. While there, the emotion I felt was great, but the emotion she felt I could tell was 10 times greater. Mission accomplished, my baby knew she was special to me.
I am looking forward to the day when all men will genuinely (notice I said genuinely) want to connect with a woman emotionally, and rid themselves of the thought that being emotionally attached to a woman makes him weak. Short, tall, skinny, or fat...a man will protect what he loves, and I've learned that women love being handled with finesse.
A WOMAN SHOULD BE COURTED. Remember that.
Later on,
I_Treasure_U
Friday, May 21, 2010
Good Women and Not So Good Men
Hello Ladies,
I was talking to one of my really good lady friends, and it was on my heart this morning to send this message to you all. What you are about to read may or may not pertain to you. It is possible it may pertain to somebody you know. My job is to just plant the seed and let it take root.
It is my assumption that most if not all of you are very exceptional women in relationships. When you choose to share your life with a man, you do all that you know you can to fulfill your duties in which you signed up for with this man. You go out of your way to show this man that you love him, you care for him, and you have his best interest at heart. BUT, there's a problem. You also feel unappreciated, you feel neglected, you try to talk to your man, but that is of only the same equivalence as talking to a can of paint. Needless to say, he continues with his apparent unappreciative ways, his ways that make you question whether this man really loves you, he neglects you for his podnuhs MOST if not ALL of the time. BUT, nothing changes about you. You continue to be that woman you know to be for the man you love; you know...the woman I spoke of a few lines ago, the woman that you've often had day dreams about being to your man. UNTIL, you get fed up. Then you become bitter. You put this wall up. You are hurt. You are afraid. You are confused. AND THEN all of these ingredients turn into the phrases often uttered. "I'M JUST GONNA DO ME FROM NOW ON"; "I'M NOT GONNA BE THE WOMAN I USED TO BE FOR ANOTHER MAN...WHY SHOULD I?". From these ingredients and those phrases comes the often spoken of "ATTITUDE" or "Impression" that you don't want to be bothered that women have when a man approaches them on a night out. Because of all of these ingredients that brought about these phrases and emissions of the "Leave me the hell alone" persona, you have probably missed your good man.
Ladies, you have to stop being good to men that don't deserve your goodness. I am a self-proclaimed ladies man. I think the only other person that genuinely loves the ladies more than I do is the Lord (that's my opinion please don't judge me for saying that...opinions are like yesterdays, everybody has one). I absolutely love you all; point, blank, period. I've learned that when a man takes care of his woman's spiritual and emotional needs (notice I didn't say anything about physical or sexual because men have proven over the years, that is the EASY part, the challenge comes in with the spiritual and emotional, and 10 times out of 9 they fail; we're not going to even get into financial lol, because half of these negroes are perpetrators when it comes to that...asses know they ain't got no damn money, but say shit like "girl let me take you shopping"...negroe please). But when a man takes care of the spiritual and emotional needs of a woman, she will automatically take care of him. Its like she naturally does it without even thinking about it. Let that man show you what you mean to him, before you go to the moon and back for him. You feed off of his interaction with you. If he shows you (shows you, not tells you) you are the world to him, that is your cue to show him he is the world to you. If his ass shows you you aren't worth more than the dirt under his shoes, that's when you show him the same.
Women are emotional beings for a reason. God purposely made you all that way. He made you all that way, because it is the only way you will be able to fulfill the role He created you for. YOU are the heart of the relationship, the heart of the marriage, the heart of the HOUSEHOLD. It is not your job to train and raise a man in an effort to show him how to be a man to you; that's what you do with YOUR son, NOT the son of somebody else.
Ladies, I'm going to leave you with these words from my heart on today. The sooner you stop being good to no good men, the sooner you will find that man that knows how to cater to your spiritual and emotional needs. Because now you aren't bitter, now you don't have that wall up, now you aren't hurt (because you didn't let his sorry behind drain you), now you are not confused, most importantly...now you aren't afraid to love again.
I was talking to one of my really good lady friends, and it was on my heart this morning to send this message to you all. What you are about to read may or may not pertain to you. It is possible it may pertain to somebody you know. My job is to just plant the seed and let it take root.
It is my assumption that most if not all of you are very exceptional women in relationships. When you choose to share your life with a man, you do all that you know you can to fulfill your duties in which you signed up for with this man. You go out of your way to show this man that you love him, you care for him, and you have his best interest at heart. BUT, there's a problem. You also feel unappreciated, you feel neglected, you try to talk to your man, but that is of only the same equivalence as talking to a can of paint. Needless to say, he continues with his apparent unappreciative ways, his ways that make you question whether this man really loves you, he neglects you for his podnuhs MOST if not ALL of the time. BUT, nothing changes about you. You continue to be that woman you know to be for the man you love; you know...the woman I spoke of a few lines ago, the woman that you've often had day dreams about being to your man. UNTIL, you get fed up. Then you become bitter. You put this wall up. You are hurt. You are afraid. You are confused. AND THEN all of these ingredients turn into the phrases often uttered. "I'M JUST GONNA DO ME FROM NOW ON"; "I'M NOT GONNA BE THE WOMAN I USED TO BE FOR ANOTHER MAN...WHY SHOULD I?". From these ingredients and those phrases comes the often spoken of "ATTITUDE" or "Impression" that you don't want to be bothered that women have when a man approaches them on a night out. Because of all of these ingredients that brought about these phrases and emissions of the "Leave me the hell alone" persona, you have probably missed your good man.
Ladies, you have to stop being good to men that don't deserve your goodness. I am a self-proclaimed ladies man. I think the only other person that genuinely loves the ladies more than I do is the Lord (that's my opinion please don't judge me for saying that...opinions are like yesterdays, everybody has one). I absolutely love you all; point, blank, period. I've learned that when a man takes care of his woman's spiritual and emotional needs (notice I didn't say anything about physical or sexual because men have proven over the years, that is the EASY part, the challenge comes in with the spiritual and emotional, and 10 times out of 9 they fail; we're not going to even get into financial lol, because half of these negroes are perpetrators when it comes to that...asses know they ain't got no damn money, but say shit like "girl let me take you shopping"...negroe please). But when a man takes care of the spiritual and emotional needs of a woman, she will automatically take care of him. Its like she naturally does it without even thinking about it. Let that man show you what you mean to him, before you go to the moon and back for him. You feed off of his interaction with you. If he shows you (shows you, not tells you) you are the world to him, that is your cue to show him he is the world to you. If his ass shows you you aren't worth more than the dirt under his shoes, that's when you show him the same.
Women are emotional beings for a reason. God purposely made you all that way. He made you all that way, because it is the only way you will be able to fulfill the role He created you for. YOU are the heart of the relationship, the heart of the marriage, the heart of the HOUSEHOLD. It is not your job to train and raise a man in an effort to show him how to be a man to you; that's what you do with YOUR son, NOT the son of somebody else.
Ladies, I'm going to leave you with these words from my heart on today. The sooner you stop being good to no good men, the sooner you will find that man that knows how to cater to your spiritual and emotional needs. Because now you aren't bitter, now you don't have that wall up, now you aren't hurt (because you didn't let his sorry behind drain you), now you are not confused, most importantly...now you aren't afraid to love again.
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